If this is paradise...I wish I had a lawnmower

Here is an analogy for something I witness almost every year and it makes me feel like I am losing my mind to watch it play out, and play out it does, every single year.

For the purposes of this analogy you are the owner of a nice, vintage car.
- Every year you are able to show the car and make some money with it, which you put in the bank.
- You don't maintain the car and over the years you see slightly less money coming in.
- You walk into the auto shop staffed with people that love this vintage car you own and have worked on it over the years with a list of improvements you would like made to your vintage auto so it will make money again.

You tell your mechanic that some of the repairs you will pay him for, though not as much as any other customer would pay any other mechanic for the same work...and that he should provide all the parts. For the rest you were hoping he would "collaborate with you" by repairing your car for you and perhaps, down the road when the income you make with the car improves, you will see about getting some money for him. Maybe.

Strangely - and this is where it gets fucking bonkers - several of the people at the shop leap at the "opportunity" to make this car beautiful, even while other people in the shop that have done so in the past warn them that they will not get the parts they need, payment they are promised or any sort of reward for their work. In fact, over the years you continue to make money showing this car, you do nothing but complain about the lousy quality of work you have gotten from these mechanics and have never delivered on the promise of better pay.

You state that clearly, the people that have done this for you in the past are "toxic" and should be ignored and that this is really an invitation to participate in a dialogue and really make some changes for the better.

Then you tell the volunteers that accepted your offer to have the car show-ready (and you expect top-quality, professional results) by mid-August and you will show up all season to complain about how much they seem to be sitting around and then again in early October to collect the money the car made and make awkward jokes about why nobody at this auto-shop likes you.