New Year-sorta blog ::
I keep meaning to sit down and write something for my personal blog that isn't "what's happening with HUGE Theater" but HUGE Theater is most of what is happening with me and every free hour I have is often spent trying to move that forward a little more so it leaves little time and energy to sit down and look backwards and blog. But that's actually kind of the whole point of what I've been trying to write about - theme or irony? not sure.
Now that HUGE is up and running and the gap is largely behind us the new challenge is finding out how things actually work vs how we have been saying they will work for many months now. Included in that is balancing real life with theater work. While on paper (or in email, since nobody really plans on paper, do they?) I am home to put the kids on the bus, meet them when they come home and even have a few evenings to spend around the house with the whole family - the reality is that there are many things not included on that schedule, and as one of the people responsible for this thing the buck ultimately stops in my vicinity.
The family has been great, patient, supportive and understanding of all the last-minute changes and the frequent "I just have to run and do this thing..." that take me away. Hell, they even let me sleep in a little extra every so often. And it requires a great deal from them since this isn't "well this is just the busy season, things will calm down in a few weeks" or "I'm just working on a project with a deadline and after that all this will go away" - this is some degree of unpredictability and doing what needs to be done until we've done enough.
I'm very grateful for that, not only because I love that my kids are being understanding but also because I think it finally shows them the reality of this whole thing as well. I blogged a long time ago worrying about the message I was sending them about being afraid to go for it when the time came but there was a more constant, dreary message going out as well.
They used to watch me suck it up and leave even though I hated being away, because that's what a dad sometimes has to do in order to pay the bills - and they knew that I was unhappy being gone, and they would get sad when I would go away, as would I. I think it was a really negative experience all around as well as a really bleak example of what can await them in the stupid, grown-up world.
Now I feel like even though the hours haven't really changed, the message is much better.
That doing what you love means working on it, and that work can be incredibly rewarding and fun. That putting your name on something means being responsible, and that can give you a lot to be proud of. That going to work doesn't have to mean busting your ass for someone else and putting off what you want to do with your life.
I don't think things are running smoothly or have achieved anything like "balance" yet but it's much better to feel like work is a part of my life instead of the thing that takes me away from it. I love that. I don't love being away from my family, I don't think I ever will, but if I have to be I'm glad it's for something more valuable than a paycheck.
Last year was the year of doing this thing, getting it open. And it was hard. And scary. And lots of fun.
This year is the year that started off with the question of "we did it...now what?" - that's an amazing opportunity and I am excited to answer that question, at work and at home.
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