Every one of 'em he ever allowed to love him trying to watch him from the crowd, trying to be proud of him.

It is June - which, around our house, means so many insane things are suddenly upon us.

The birthday weekend of my wonderful wife followed immediately by the twins' big day
The end of the school year, complete with sappy photo slideshows that make it painfully clear how much the little boys have grown this year, which is both startling and also the least shocking milestone right now.

This year marks the end of the teenager's public school career. He graduated.

That's right, against impressive odds and despite his own involvement, the teenager is now a high school graduate. Not only did he graduate on time - beating his dad's record of handing in the final assignment on the way to the commencement ceremony - but he graduated from the school he wanted despite being expelled and outwardly hostile toward his own interests for a while there.

It's an interesting contrast - with the twins growing so fast and that constant urge to be able to slow the time down and just enjoy every little moment and the teenager arriving at a day that seemed so unlikely that I has almost stopped planning for its arrival - and all the relief that comes with it. There are have been plenty of times over the last few years where I couldn't fathom how independent my little guys are on the same day I was stunned by how the idea of the teenager being "on his own" in the world filled me with terror.

Conversely, it doesn't seem like that long ago that I was worried about him starting school and following him in my car as he walked to kindergarten and suddenly he's finishing school and I still just want to look out for him without getting in the way.

For how often I remark on his troubled periods (I have started writing this blog numerous times, only to find it too full of negativity and not enough about how proud and astounded I am) I should clarify that he's actually a very good kid - he has his heart in the right place and most of the time isn't any dumber than any other teenager. "Teenager" just happens to be a synonym for "self-destructively fucking stupid" to everyone that isn't one.
In contrast - if he was doing what I did when I graduated high school I would be A GRANDPARENT right now.
I have been trying to remind myself of that any time the words "my son is graduating from high school" make me feel really old.
I could be a GRANDFATHER right now if he was anywhere near as terrible a teenager as I must have been. Good lord.


Gulp. Anyway.


I am nothing but proud of the kid, as fondly as I may try to remember high school, it is still one of the shittiest times of life and he made it through and is actually in possession of something resembling a plan going forward - to get into psychology and help kids like him that have to deal with their issues without destroying themselves. I think that's pretty great.

He seems much more positive, a good deal more mature, slightly more ready and the idea of him heading out into the world doesn't make me want to warn the rest of the population to take shelter.
Almost like a grown up.

And it all happened pretty fast.